Tuesday, December 16, 2008

BREAKING NEWS

THE OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT
945 Battery Street San Francisco, CA 94111
DECEMBER 16TH, 2008 3:30 PM EST

BREAKING NEWS
STOP WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE DOING

This morning while taking my 6 mile morning run, I received word that Jessica Lyon, infamous G-Team member, and certified skank, was ran over by a semi truck on I-10 in Louisiana. Lyon was seen staggering in the median by a trucker, and the trucker of course did the honorable thing by putting that lard ass out of her misery. Our deepest congratulations to Lyon's family, and we hope her ugly ass face doesn't require too much makeup. Expect more news from our office this evening. Mr. President Bradley will schedule a conference soon.

Yours,
Fiona

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

fiona!
how are you?
it's been a while.

Anonymous said...

fiona, it's not polite to post pictures of yourself on here, you know that right?

Anonymous said...

My grandma (not pictured) can shoop images better than this, and she is blind in both eyes. Learn to photoshop before attempting to troll, oh wait, nevermind, you will fail anyways. All hail destruction.

Anonymous said...

ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass,,,,, your gonna get hit with more than shoes!