THE OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT
945 Battery Street San Francisco, CA 94111
DECEMBER 16TH, 2008 3:30 PM EST
STOP WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE DOING
This morning while taking my 6 mile morning run, I received word that Jessica Lyon, infamous G-Team member, and certified skank, was ran over by a semi truck on I-10 in Louisiana. Lyon was seen staggering in the median by a trucker, and the trucker of course did the honorable thing by putting that lard ass out of her misery. Our deepest congratulations to Lyon's family, and we hope her ugly ass face doesn't require too much makeup. Expect more news from our office this evening. Mr. President Bradley will schedule a conference soon.